Just to be clear..

In case anyone mistakes this for some kind of parenting guide let me tell you how I spent yesterday evening.


I was having a very pleasant time playing with the boys. I had made them a little crown out of clothes pegs and was having a mini disco, getting them to dance around the sun room to Goldfrapp [whatever slim chance I have of gaining forgiveness for the inevitable embarrassment that the boys will suffer on the back of this blog will be outweighed by the hatred for giving them a taste for cheesy 80's style synth pop!!].


It all turned for the worst when Fat Chops managed to drop an iron on his head. An iron that a responsible father would probably have identified as a risk rather than commenting on how the late evening sunlight was having a disco ball effect on the walls of the room. I picked him up and rubbed his head until he stopped crying. Then I put him down and was heading off to get his pyjama's when I saw the blood on my hand.

A lot of blood.

A LOT OF MY SON'S BLOOD!!!!!


I forced myself to take some deep breaths and internalise my panic and brought him to the sink so I could clean him up discovering that the cut was actually quite small but as with most scalp injuries, the bleeding was disproportionate to the severity of the wound.


I got them into their pyjama's, tidied around the house and hid all the blood stained clothing in the laundry basket. I was feeling fairly pleased with myself that despite the accident I could tell my wife about the incident while she was witnessing two smiling, happy boys. As per always, these things only happen when I am left on my own with the boys. I swear it merely an unfortunate sequence of coincidences rather than a pattern of wilful neglect. When Fat Chops saw his mother come home he dropped the plastic bricks he was holding and trotted towards the door. He then proceeded to ruin my presentation of happy children by stepping on one the bricks he had just dropped, slipping backwards and.... hitting his head off the floor.


Cue screaming child and explanation from uncomfortable father!!