The Page Boy

It’s good to be back! Well, kind of. It’s true that there is no place like home but I wouldn’t have too much of a problem making my home in the beautiful and spacious villa drenched in the Portuguese sunshine. I’ve loads to write about after the holiday so I’m going to start at the start.

We were guests at a wedding the first Saturday of our break. I was groomsman and Monkey Boy was a page boy. From the first moment the idea was floated I feared the worst. Initially, I was worried that there was no way that he would walk in a straight line but it took him so long to start walking that there was a period when I wondered if he would have to crawl up the aisle! Giving him the rings to carry was never an option.

After a minor struggle to get him to wear a tie he was all dressed up and raring to go. They couldn’t get a children’s tie so we stuck an adult one on him, two thirds of which ended up being tucked into his trousers. Despite this he looked great in his trousers and waistcoat outfit [in the objective and unbiased opinion of his father!] We dragged Aunty Lemons along to look after Fat Chops [he sat quietly at the back of the church throughout, did us proud!] and Nana agreed to come along and bring Monkey Boy home while myself and Hannah went on to the reception.

We figured that the best chance of getting him to walk up the aisle was to convince the flower girl to hold his hand, him being a bit of a ladies man. It started very well, he was suitably impressed with the pretty flower girl and set off through the doors looking as if he would follow her to the ends of the earth. I was standing at the top of the church looking back at him feeling a swell of pride in my chest. Then I started paying attention to his facial expressions rather than his dapper outfit.

It’s a guess but my interpretation of his train of thought was;

Hey, she’s pretty.
Her hand feels nice and warm.
What’s through these big doors?
What’s with the music?
Whoa, there are a lot of people in here!
Where are my parents?
I don’t know any of these people, why are they all looking at me like that?
[By now the bottom lip was fully extended]
I think I want my Mammy.
Why are they all taking pictures?
Are they laughing at me?

Then he wailed!

At this stage the flower girl had done a sterling job of dragging him up the aisle so he was right by Hannah’s seat when he started crying. He happily received some comfort from his Mammy and then he acquiesced to sitting on my knee for the start of the ceremony. As you can imagine, that lasted all of ten minutes. Unless the happy couple were going to sing the Barney “I Love You” song as their wedding vows it was never going to hold his attention for very long. He started by exploring the pews and trying to climb over them. Nana intervened and distracted him with a book for a couple of minutes. The giggling started when he, loudly, started making the noises of all the animals in the book. He had gotten used to his surroundings by now and was much more comfortable with the people around him. So much so, that he cranked up the volume when he heard the laughing and starting playing up to it. He thoroughly enjoyed himself after that. A little bit of climbing over and around the pews, a little bit of peek-a-boo with the guys in the rows behind him and my personal favourite, a little bit of singing along to the hymns. That boy is destined to be an entertainer.

When we went outside the show continued. He darted his way between the collection of legs in the church car park until he inevitably crashed into someone. He happened to fall beside a group of girls who were very sympathetic, oohing and awing until he regained his feet and went on his merry way. The next time he passed the same group he “fell” again, eagerly accepting the attention and sympathy.

What surprised me most on the day was that when Fat Chops came out of the church and saw Monkey Boy he ran over and hugged him. I have several witnesses who will confirm that it was an affectionate hug and not a misplaced headlock. They had only been separated for less than an hour but apparently they missed each other.

After several thousand photo’s we packed him up in the car and went on to the reception. It was a great day and hopefully the first of many happy days in a long marriage for the happy couple.