Random Bullets II

• Question of the week. I was playing with the boys the other night. It was a very simple game. I put my hands up, growl “I’m going to get you” and set off in pursuit. When I catch them, I throw them up in the air and tickle them a bit. Seems easy to follow but Fat Chops keeps getting it wrong? Can someone please tell me why Fat Chops insists on running straight at me when I chase him? I like to think that it’s because he is already a talented strategist and realises that attack is the best form of defense but there is a slim chance that opinion might be tainted by parental bias.
• In a previous post I mentioned that there was a short list of words that the boys were using. That was back in June and we have been making steady, if slow, progress since then. We moved on to short phrases. We’ve got “ready, steady, go”, “more please Dada” and a few others. Fat Chops produced my new favourite the other night. His mum was trying to teach him to count when he came out with “one, two, yellow”. Looks like we still have some work to do.
• I was watching “Live at the Apollo” the other night when Ed Byrne did a sketch that struck a chord. The short version is that people become complete know-it-alls when they have kids and there are a lot of people who think that “you don’t understand because you aren’t a parent” is check mate in any argument. Thoughtful blogger that I am, I even went and found it on YouTube for you [you're welcome!]. It’s was a funny sketch but parents, through their experiences, know more about lots of things than non-parents would. As an example, I went to the playground last weekend with the boys and met their Uncle Cheddar Terry [the background to his name could be an entire post in itself, maybe another time] and his new wife. Monkey Boy headed towards the sandpit and started throwing handfuls of sand. After two years I have been conditioned to anticipate sand throwing being the start of a fight with either his brother or another child. Childless Cheddar Terry thought it was cute and admonished me for being so strict. By the time he was finished saying “what’s the harm in it?” Monkey Boy had sand in his eye.
• The boys love eating toast with a fork. That is all.
• I assume that he is copying the older kids at the child minders but Monkey Boys latest trick is doing tumbles. It starts with the thud of his head on the floor, moves on to him inching his bum over his head until his neck is bent at an angle that makes me flinch and finishes with him flopping onto the ground. Sometimes, he even manages to fall so that his feet go over his head. Our bid for Olympic glory in 2024 is underway.
• They had a bath in their Nana’s house over the weekend and since their cousin, The Big Show, was there we threw her in with them. I’m so glad that we did. She’s never found wanting for something to say and entertained us with a monologue throughout. I’m especially grateful for the anatomy lesson, pointing out the boys’ little worms [I corrected her on this and told her not to say “little”, don’t want them being insecure] and then explaining that it was their “Mary”. For the uninitiated, Mary is a term for her front bum. Never a dull moment.
• And finally…. A funny story about one of the boys hurting themselves in a way that could have been easily avoided. I feel bad about this one because I was sitting watching him. Fat Chops had gotten hold of a tea towel and was waving it about in a way that can only make sense to a toddler*. Somehow in all the frenetic flapping the towel ended up over his head. It wouldn’t be unusual for them to walk around with things on their heads [saucepans, sieves, baskets, boxes have all been worn as hats] and the way that he confidently strode out of the door suggested that he could see his way clearly enough. The loud thud shortly after his exit suggested that his vision was somewhat impaired. Yet again, I was left trying to comfort my son and suppress laughter at the same time but, as we all know, men don’t multi-task very well.



*Unless he is training for the ribbon section of the gymnastics competition at the 2024 Olympics. I won’t get too carried away with the fact that only the girls compete in that event, we’ve a few years to go yet.